


However, the question remains: Did Diet Coke “kill” George Carlin? Many people still claim to have the answer, whether it be yes, no or maybe but what I want to know is where this claim even came from. How many Diet Cokes would Carlin have to ingest to be considered addicted? Is there any proof that he consistently did so? What about any medications, new foods or drinks he may have introduced to his system or even stress? What about the coroner’s report? Did it say “death by poison”? Can aspartame even be clinically deemed “poison” and if so what’s next? The stevia plant? The cocoa bean?!?! Oh the shame!

But back to the main reason for this post. Regardless of why he passed, George Carlin was one of THE best comics of all time, period. Here are just a few of my favorites:
– “No one knows what’s next, but everybody does it.”
– “If a man stands in the woods talking and there is no woman around to hear him…is he still wrong?”
– “Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things”
– “As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is.”
– “Who’s cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have an “S” in it?”
– “Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”
– “One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you’re too tired.”
– “Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town”.
– “Ever notice that when driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?”
– “The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating…and you finish off as an orgasm.”
*perfizample*